However, our fear of intimacy is often triggered by positive emotions even more than negative ones. In fact, being chosen by someone we truly care for and experiencing their loving feelings can often arouse deep-seated fears of intimacy and make it difficult to maintain a close relationship. The problem is that the positive way a lover sees us often conflicts with the negative ways we view ourselves. Sadly, we hold on to our negative self-attitudes and are resistant to being seen differently. Because it is difficult for us to allow the reality of being loved to affect our basic image of ourselves, we often build up a resistance to love.
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A few are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives. Things will be going all along smoothly, and all of a sudden, they feel inundated along with insecurity and dread that their partner will distance themselves, close the eye to, or leave them. Everyone experiences this fear at different levels. Most of us can associate to having heightened anxiety above thoughts of rejection. We can be set off by everything from an aloof first appointment to a longtime partner apparent distracted and unavailable. They can also experience a fear of abandonment phobia, which is characterized by extreme dependency on others, and is commonly seen along with individuals diagnosed with Borderline Behaviour disorders. The degree to which a person is faced along with this fear can shape how they live their lives after that experience their relationships.